Where I am instead...

Hello, kind and sweet and wonderful and lovely readers of this ridiculously neglected blogsite. Perhaps I should offer an apology (and further beg of your forgiveness) for not being here but I don't believe that to be acceptable since... I'm actually not sorry for being so very not here. And I say all of this not from lack of appreciation but much more of absolutely pure honesty. 

Since last year about this time (maybe even a little earlier), I've had a great deal of challenge in my personal life. Much of this has to do with information I'm not at liberty to discuss openly (because it's information that technically belongs to other people) but some of it belongs to me as well as I have had my own share of some amazingly challenging health issues. This has included (but is not limited to) me having to see quite a number of medical professionals and even have to go through a biopsy in order to determine that I do not have cancer. (I repeat: I do NOT have cancer. PRAISE. THE. LORD.) I have been found to have other things though but... they aren't things that are new and are simply things that I've somehow always had but that still require some very focused, immediate, and steadfast medical attention. *sigh* It's not been fun or easy but I'm happy to report that I'm feeling so much better than I have in a very long while despite the toll it's clearly taken on me (and, in turn, this blog). 

All of this said, I've not stopped teaching art and/or creating it myself. I've simply being doing it in a capacity that is not so openly shared here or other social media conduits I have previously kept up. While not sharing is not so much "fun," it's been enormously instrumental for me and the continued movement that I make toward greater wellness and more solid ground. Not having the requirement or feeling or urgency to share has helped me find much more very real joy in my life and helped me to invest in being less of a producer of moments and a better of enjoyer of them. I'm more truly invested in life and it's paid off in dividends beyond what I could ever count. Basically? I'm less wired into a virtual world and more connected to the real one that always immediately surrounds me which has created richer relationships and greater value across the board and what I do have in my life? None of it is superficial or in excess in a way that I either want to or need to purge to make things more "manageable" let alone more enjoyable. 

The way it's all happened was certainly never planned (by me at least) but I'm happy that it has happened just the same. One any given day I can (and I do) look at my life and feel a beautiful and and wonderful peace which is always followed but a strong but quiet thankfulness. This is because I GET TO HAVE this life that I have. I've not been relegated to it and it's far and away from something that "is what it is." This is something that is beyond what could have been brought by mere luck or coincidental happenstance. Something this good can't and doesn't just happen - per my opinion or experience. And all of this brings me to the latest "development" of the place that I've been so blessed to find myself reveling in...

This was done with prismacolor colored pencil (a 72-count set) and blended with gamsol and then defined and dimensioned with Micron pens. I did not prep the pages (though you can do that) but I did do a light sketch to layout what you see. Also, no - the image or mediums did not "shadow" or bleed through the pages so they are perfectly readable still!

This is my Bible. And other than my family (which includes my husband, child, and our small menagerie of creatures), my Bible is the most treasured thing I own. I actually have a lot of Bibles but this one is very special to me because I bring it with me as much as I can in order to look at it whenever I might want to. Is it odd that it happens to have a huge illustration across the pages? Well... that's called Bible Journaling and it's something I have discovered over the past year where you study it in a way that allows you to visually illuminate the understanding (or even questions) you have right there in the place where it so originated.

Bible journaling is something that I'm only just starting. Prior to this I would highlight and annotate and do very quick drawings in the margins in pen for the sole purposes of explication. Bible journaling is something that I've been watching from the "sidelines" as it's been taking the world of social media by storm. (So... though I haven't been a participator and active contributor? I've still been reading blogs and such to not be totally out of "the loop" with things). In recent weeks though, I've decided to jump into Bible journaling myself and I gotta tell you - it's AMAZING and I love it SO Much because it's reinvigorated my understanding of scripture as well as ignited my enthusiasm to partake of The Word in ways that I don't think I have ever experienced in my whole life. This is something that I feel like I have been waiting for and I'm so glad that it's happened that it's now in my life.

So... this is what I'm doing these days and I'm still not sure that I will be sharing it on here the way I have today or that I will be returning to this blogsite any time soon but I just wanted to say "Hi" at least and say that I haven't totally forgotten about this place (where I once spent so much more time). Thanks so much for the patience, understanding, and support for me to have done what I have been able to do and keep doing as I am doing.

It's official! And we even have the jacket to prove it...

It's would just happen that I would go and make some proclamation on here about how I don't know the next time will be when I'm on here and then I'm just all of a sudden on here two days later all, "Hi! I have one more thing to say..."

*insert awkward smile and wave from me here*

*shrug*

More than three years ago, I embarked on a journey that finally ended (with an unexpectedly beautiful flourish) TODAY. I cannot be more delighted and overjoyed to report the end of such an incredible... hmmm... fight? 

To be completely fair, it's not been a fight so much as it's been me just persevering and seeing this all the way through. And that is? It's the jacket that you see me wearing as I'm doing something that I rarely (well, honestly more like never) do - a bathroom selfie. I honestly cannot even believe that I'm wearing this jacket because... well... it has taken me YEARS to be able to get this jacket approved in order for it to be made to begin with!

Here's the thing: Nearly EVERY student-interest group/team at my school is (very obviously) visibly represented when you gather our students together in a whole group. The athletics teams all have official jackets and other sorts of team apparel. The choral, performance arts, and instrumental art groups have matching (read: UNIFYING) apparel that they "sport" with great pride. There's even students of certain social studies classes that get matching shirts every year at the end of the course study as a way to celebrate the bond that they have formed together and the love that they have discovered for what/how they have studied it. But the VISUAL artists in my school? Well... we (because I include myself in this) have allowed our artwork to be seen but never ourselves and while being behind the scenes is something that we very much enjoy, we (meaning: the art students AND myself) have always wanted to have some matching (read: unifying) "gear" to sport in school colors and in solidarity with our brother and sister artists who we spend all of our time designing and creating alongside in our beloved art studio spaces. 

I am a person of dreams as much as I am a person of prayers as much as I like LOVE to MAKE. THINGS. HAPPEN!!!! There have been SO many dreams that I have shared with the student artist community and we have always said, "Hey! Why can't WE get jackets too? We can even design better ones than *insert any other jacket that everyone else has here*..." (We really aren't trying to put other people's jackets down. Seriously.)

So after enough talking (and lots more praying), I got to work on trying to make an official jacket happen for the visual art student community. I drafted up a few designs, put out "feelers" for which ones were most preferred and then approached administration to get their blessing to do it. I was given a little bit of a maybe but ultimately a no. I was bummed but hardly discouraged because the issue was a matter of our uniform policy (that we have and try very hard to keep to for very good reasons). I went back to the drawing board in both literal and figurative ways and I tweaked the things that they said could stand to be tweaked and then I approached administration again. I was told maybe for even less time and then no even faster than the first time. I wasn't bummed though and instead I became very VERY determined to not take no for the final answer. 

Time passed and administration changed and every time I approached them and asked again and almost always with the same outcome and (for me) the same determined response. The more I was told no, the more I believed this to be just a problem that required a more creative solution that needed to be thought through. It only took me YEARS to get to a point where administration stopped giving me no's after their maybe's and their maybe's started looking more like OK. I don't even think it's because I "wore them down" - though I'm sure my persistent did that a little bit - and it was more that prayer is a strong force to contend with AND I was also willing to flex and bend and compromise with what was being requested of me and the whole business of this jacket. 

Long story a little longer, today I am wearing the OFFICIAL jacket that has been so many years in the works and at times that felt like a (pipe) dream more than anything. It's really only me and 11 other student artists wearing it but the offer was put out to everyone to join with us and we're all hoping that now that people are seeing the jacket? They will be encouraged to join us and get one for themselves and I will be more than happy to place a second and much larger order with Custom Ink. Maybe the next order will be even cheaper than the $49 that it cost us since the more jackets you order at once, the more everyone saves!!!

I would love EVERYONE at my school to be able to wear this jacket if they want to because the way the visual arts works is that I get to see/meet/know nearly every student at my school. Some just take the visual art courses for the general education/graduation requirement but even those student artists really treasure their time in the art class they take and want to take more even if they don't intend on ever "doing" art again beyond their time at the school. 

I also think that EVERYONE at my school ought to feel as if they can rightfully wear this jacket because I do believe that God has seeded the gift of creation within all of us because He truly did create us in His own image (and He is the master artist if there could ever be a master of the masters!) and because I believe we are called to be imitators of Him? Well... that means every last one of us is 1) called to create, 2) enabled to create when we seek to answer the call, and 3) CAN rightfully identify ourselves as ARTISTS because when we answer the call to create and then we create in His name and for Him - we are artists no matter where we come from who we think we were before we acknowledge and embrace ourselves as artists. 

Today is a day when big prayers were answered and blessings were provided with abundance and I couldn't not mention it here on the blog no matter how flaky I've been and how many times I've promised you that I would be scarce here. I had to tell you about this day. I had to tell you about how great God is and show you how he delivers in mighty ways when you dream for Him, PRAY to Him, and then CREATE FOR HIM. 

Do I have to go back to the future?

This morning (Tuesday, 9/23/14) in the studio classroom

Clearly,  I have not held up any bargain/promise/proposal I have previously made to resume blogging. I am not even going to try and apologize about it anymore because I'm actually not all that sorry.

I mean... this blogsite has been really important to me. (Don't get me wrong on that.)  It has (more than) served its purpose of connecting me with other art teachers and working artists and designers. It's also been a terrific resource for folks if/when they have really REALLY needed it - be it for lesson plan ideas OR set/scene design ideas/how-to's/graphics for the many theater productions of which I have worked. I have gotten some awesome emails and comments from readers (about all of the aforementioned) and with every single one, I'm constantly humbled and amazed that anybody else thinks what I have done here has been useful or good.

(Please don't read all of this as a cry for validation and passive-aggressive request to feed my ego. I just seriously feel like I am 1) not that great of a writer to begin with, 2) OK enough at sharing what I have shared and 3) still learning so much myself that I am hesitant to "consult" because I'm still figuring things out myself/for myself - basically, I know I don't have the "answers" so I'm not trying to give anyone anything that is "half-baked.")

Related to all of the previous, the "fasting" I did years back from social media and then eventually from my electronic devices at large, I have found that since I have tried to return from that fasting, it's been hard for me to have very much of an appetite to keep up this particular blog anymore. I find that what I really crave (and am drawn to do) is to be more present in my classroom and with the incredibly talented (and hungry) student artists that I have been blessed to come to know. Despite how contradictory this sounds (especially since I am sharing this with you via digital social media), I find that one of the first things I want to do in order to start and end my days, are things that are not digital/virtual and are as tangible as possible.

In the past I used (and hated) using a teacher planning book/notebook. While I had lesson plans, I disliked writing them and I preferred using any (even every?) number of digital mediums/apps to write and archive them. Over at least half a decade later, I'm admitting that "my way" - of doing as many things digital as possible - is not nearly as productive or useful as I once thought. Through much too much trial and error, I've discovered that actually WRITING lesson plans in tangible ways (on real paper) has made teaching and learning (for both myself and my students) that much more tangible and REAL than it ever has been in digital format. This isn't to say that I have now decided that technology is bad but just... I have a new understanding of what it is good for and it's no longer as good for me (and my teaching efforts) as it once was.

My very well used Teacher Planning notebook - NOT digital!!! Thank you, Erin Condren for this amazing teaching tool. 

I've applied the understanding of the need for tangible things and organization in other areas of my life too. While I still use iCal across all of my devices, I don't rely on it as my sole means to keep me on track and on time. I have alarms and reminders set for things but I don't require them because I am actually remembering things before they remind me to not forget them. This is all because I'm using a paper planner (also from Erin Condren) for my non-teaching life...

I have no idea how my life was ever functioning at all without this Life Planner. Seriously. How did I do it? (Answer: I didn't)

The above looks fancier and like it requires more work to maintain it (as seen above) than what it actually does and I'm so thankful for that. I've come to find that it is true that when I fail to plan, I plan to fail and this has a domino effect in every direction of my life. This isn't to say I've become this incredibly regimented and "by the [planner] book" type of person of routines that cannot be deviated from and structure that is so rigid it hurts. Quite the opposite, I'm more relaxed and at peace and fully present than I ever have been in all of my life. I don't get worked up over stupid things and I'm truly able to do things like keep little things little because I have taken the time to better know the size and weight and TIME that most things take up in my life. And if something unexpected arises? I know how much size/weight/TIME I have leftover (or not) in my life in order to be able to squeeze/fit it into the time and energy that I DO have because I can see it so clearly as it's laid out in my planning notebooks.

None of the previous was ever possible for me when I did things digitally. Perhaps there's something wrong with me that doing this digitally has worked like this but I have found I just can't do things digitally as much as I have thought I could. I feel like doing things digitally (and thus asking less physically and cognitively of myself) has ended up giving me less HEART and SOUL to actually LIVE life as I know I have been called to do rather than giving me "convenience" and saving me time, energy, or money the way I have thought it worked when digitizing is used to its greatest degree.

Anyway, all of this is to say that 1) I'm still not clear about what I'm to do with this here blogsite though I know I'm not taking it down and 2) I'm still choosing to be more present in my actual and physical life more which consequentially means I am also choosing to be less present here (on this blogsite) and until further notice.

I hope you all understand. I hope that even what I am sharing now (in addition to what I have already shared) is relevant and useful in the dreaming, Praying, and CREATING of your own decision. In the meanwhile, I am being still and remaining in a holding pattern where I'm praying for each and every one of you, this blogsite, and myself so that I can better understand where/what I should create next.

God bless you, all! Have a great rest of your week and see you whenever I see you...

Working my way back

Hello everyone! Hope you all are enjoying your summer with however you are selecting to spend it. Despite my best intentions to spend my own summer doing things of relaxation and leisure, I have been doing nothing of the sort. :-p Sometimes divine callings and the complicated demands of life simply require things that deviate from your best laid plans. 
Despite the aforementioned, I'm definitely thinking about the start of school (in less than 25 days!) and returning to the classroom AND blogging here. *YAY!* As always, I have grand dreams and great intentions. However... it's safe to say that that sort of stuff always lands me within my own embarrassing failures (AND in front of quite the audience at that). I'm doing my best to avoid the previous though and one way that I have learned aids in such prevention is coming up with a reasonably sound and executable plan. Does this make me sound like someone who lacks the ability to dream and spontaneously create? (Which is an individual who is far from the one I have known myself to be most of my life) I don't know. All I do know is that I have learned very much that it IS true that failure to plan all too often lends to me planning to fail no matter how/what I might intend, hope for, dream of, or scramble to make happen. 
All of this said, this coming year marks the 9th year of my teaching career and the 7th year at my current school where I am in my 2nd year as department head but incidentally? It will be my FIRST year as the sole Visual Art Teacher and having my very own classroom (though I had my own classroom years ago when I was in public school). 
It's all very exciting but also quite daunting at the same time. I'm going to be teaching all of the courses that I have been teaching in addition to three other intermediate/advanced courses. I will also be working closely with the principal and the academic dean to "chart" a better path for the visual art curriculum which will likely involve a huge overhaul of the courses offered (including new course descriptions, clearly defined and communicated study "paths" for art students to navigate, and other things that fall into the realms of "etc."). Does all of this sound a little like chaos waiting to happen? I am being realistic and saying that it quite possibly does. Still, I'm determined to take all of what I have learned and know I'm able to do in order to steady myself so that when the waters (that I'm metaphorically on) start becoming choppy, I don't end up so motion sick that I cannot do what I am determined to try and do - which is stay the course!
For the past couple of months, I've been anticipating all of the things that I know I will need to do better and one of those things is being more organized, concrete in my forward thinking ways, and documenting all of because my memory and retention isn't nearly what it used to be. Truth be told, I don't use a Teacher Planning book despite trying to use one year after year only to have the thing be crushed at the bottom of my teacher tote bag before even half the year has arrived. In thinking back on my failed attempts to do this better (because I NEED to do this and I don't deny it), I came to some conclusions about what my natural work habits are and how to adhere to those so that it's not such a chore to do classroom and teacher planning.
One thing in particular that I learned is that the teacher planners/organizers that I have used in the past aren't that well suited for the curriculum/content that I teach and/or the approach that I take in the classroom. I was able to identify the things that I believed would be essential for the unique things that I sort of require that seemed like they should be readily available. I set out to find a teacher planner that would as many of these things as possible and despite my best efforts (and they're pretty decent and it's safe to say that if something is out there I. WILL. FIND. IT.), I was turning up empty handed and becoming increasingly frustrated. 
As things happened, I was about to give up after MONTHS of dealing with this and then I finally found what I believe is a bit of a "holy grail" for my finicky teacher planning needs... HELLO, ERIN CONDREN TEACHER PLANNERS!!!!!!

I don't know where these things have been and why I haven't ever heard of them before but I know about them now and I have already ordered my own planning book and I am IMPATIENTLY awaiting its arrival - that should come just in time for teachers work week a week and a half BEFORE the first day of school. 
Please know that I'm not plugging this product because I'm getting any sort of compensation from them at all and I haven't even gotten mine yet (but I hope to share an initial review and then follow-up review eventually) about my thoughts on it. If you know anything about Erin Condren products, you might note that they are a bit on the pricy side but honestly? I am not a big shopper and so when I do spend money, I am always willing to have it be something that is worth the money (however much it might be) so that I don't have to spend any more money again because I have to replace what was supposed to work to begin with. 
I've ordered my Erin Condren teacher planner and I'm so excited to get it soon!!! If you don't need a teacher planner, she also has a life planner (that's still pretty amazing if you ask me) and a wedding planner (also amazing and I recently bought one for a friend as her engagement gift). If you are interested in ordering an Erin Condren planner (of any type) too, you can do so and get a $10 coupon toward it by way of THIS LINK (which is a referral link from me and it allows me to accrue credits toward my next year's planner). 
Anyway, I'll let you know when I get my planner but just wanted to pop on here to say hi with an update of how things are in my niche of the world and also let you know that I am certainly interested (and thinking deeply about!) how I will get back on here more often than not (at all). 

Please continue to hold -- Thank you!

Original works of art by my almost 6yo daughter (left) and an artist I just love named Katie M. Berggren (right)

Popping on here to say hello just to see how you all are doing (albeit) without me.

Despite the quietness that has remained here on the blog, plenty has been going on for me! In my time away, I have still managed to occupy myself with more than enough that makes it even harder for me to want to come back - though I AM wanting to do that eventually and not just close this blog completely.

In my time away, I have come to realize how important it is to take the leave of absence that I have. I haven't been here on this blog and I even "pulled the plug" on my instagram as well!! My pause in blogging was something that I knew I needed but doing so on instagram too? That's something that just ended up happening just because I must say, it's been really Really REALLY nice. It's given me back something that I have lacked for quite too long - which is the real opportunity to be much more fully present in my life. Just as blogging stole that from my teaching and professional life, instagram definitely did that in my personal and family life. By taking myself offline though, I have reclaimed all of the things that I so willfully gave up without realizing that I ever did so in the first place.

I have a little more than a month and a half of teaching left and then I will be brought right to the start of summer - which already is chock full of all sorts of things to do. It's a wonderful and glorious thing to realize not only how full my life has become but also to not feel like I can't fully enjoy any of what I have been so blessed to receive. If you have ever considered taking a "leave of absence" from the online world? I would encourage you to not be afraid to just go for it. It will give back you in dividends what you never realized you were already giving endlessly of yourself within the virtual realms.

What to do now and next

Hi! Sorry for not being around for a long while. I don't have any good excuse of how/why it happened like this other than to just note that I really really needed a break from this blog.

I have been blogging on and off (but mostly on) for over a decade now and (if you've never tried to before) it can be quite a lot of work getting in the habit, staying in the habit, and delivering fresh content. This is especially true for content specific or niche blogging (which is what I do here). After I finished my masters degree (about October/November time) I found that I really and truly needed a mental break from writing papers and doing research and trying to get back on the metaphorical horse after doing such an amazing amount of blogging last year was only harder because of the break that I needed. So? I took the break and that's why it's been so radio silent here.

So I'm back here today to post this but honestly? I don't know when I will be back again and I am still trying to pray about what to keep doing beyond me just feeling like I need to be still and focus on other things (than this blog). I find that by not blogging here, I am much more connected and present with my 5.5 year old daughter and husband and students. I am thinking a lot less about how to churn the life and art teaching on my everyday into blog content and more about just being fully present and focused. This year for the One Little Word campaign I decided on the word "treasure" and I think it's going to work much better than last year's word of "joy" because it's been a focus of mine most recently in what I do, how I do things, and how I regard things before me. I've become so much more aware of the need for me to have less of a life virtually and more of a life actually.

I have loved this blog so much but I really and truly feel like I will probably not return to the posting schedule I had last year because it made it really difficult for me to have the time and energy I now know I want to have for my family and my students and to serve my school community. Blogging so much also makes it difficult for me to create artwork for my own professional development. I haven't painted in months and having realized this I decided that I needed to change that by trying to do something of my own art creation because I was starting to feel stagnant.

I have never kept up with a sketchbook OR done watercolor painting in all of my life but I recently started to do both in an effort to get beyond my own prejudices and learn something new that I had previously been so staunchly against. I got a visual sketchbook for both myself and my daughter and we have been trying to do a page a night in our books with either ink and watercolor or just plain watercolor. We both have less than a half dozen finished pages but it's been amazing so far and I am amazed that I was ever so against daily art creation (like in a sketchbook or visual journaling) OR watercolor. I have been "doing it wrong" the whole time. Thankfully, I have seen the light.

A page I finished last evening in my journal after everyone in the house was sound asleep.

I know I don't want to abandon this blog but I also know that how I have done it in the past is not a way that I can keep doing it in the present or in the future. I have a lot of content on here and I am regularly getting unique hits because of people finding things I have archived in the way of art lesson project ideas. (I'm so glad that what I have shared continues to be so useful to others!) Still, well... maybe it's time for me to deliver less that ends up being much more because it has greater substance at least as it applies to what I originally create - either in my painted sketchbook or with my own explorations of the creative process, creative callings, or what I am learning about the art of teaching art.

In any case, I hope you all are doing well in your classrooms and with your own artwork. I have previously "preached" the importance of being an artist as being actively creating art pushing yourself to do better design and stretching your creativity. I think perhaps it's time for me to do that sort of thing rather than giving myself endlessly to the efforts of others, the development and understandings of their creative processes, and enabling them to create beautiful works of art. That's what I do every day and when I leave work, I need to do a better job of allowing myself the same sort of gift.

So, I'm not quitting this blog or even taking it offline in any way. It'll keep being here. I just might be here less often but perhaps at the same time with a more worthwhile presence.

The things we all carry :: Arts Integration

What kind of arts integration are you doing these days? I mean, I know that you might be an art educator so art education is not only what you do but also what you do best but that wasn't my question. 

One thing that I am very aware of as an artist is the importance of connections and relationships. In order to design and create a successful work of art, one element or principle is not nearly so effective or meaningful if it's standing completely on it's own. Pulling the different elements of art and principles of design together - even if it's done in simple ways - is so powerful, communicative, and amazing to behold. Artist and art educators know this as fact but if we don't share that with others by INTEGRATING what we know with what everyone else knows (apart from the arts), we are keeping the richness and beauty of the arts to ourselves. And what fun is that? Seriously. Misery might enjoy company but happiness and delightedness enjoys a big ol' party that everyone is invited to, RSVP's to, and actually shows up to.

I mentioned last week that I am embarking on a new project with the 2D Design students that draws upon the power of using our lives to tell stories in order to explain how the sum of the parts is way more than the parts themselves. Every day I have been offering the students parts of myself and my story (as a way to practice what I both preach and TEACH) and I have shown them a different way to "read" things other than words on a page. Trying to do this on the daily has challenged me in all sorts of ways that I never thought it would because I'm literally trying to come up with more than a half dozen ways to say and show the exact same idea.

One of my favorite books that I have ever read is called "The Things They Carried." I read the book in my college freshman English class and it was one of the most illuminating and illustrative writings that I have ever read took a very VERY abstract concept and put it in words very simply and in a way that was easy to understand. And this concept made me think about what I carry and what my students carry on the daily that offer very interesting perspectives of who, what, and how we are in our lives. Want to see what I have been carrying out so far this school year (at least)? Here are the contents of my crossbody/shoulder bag (basically a purse) that I don't leave home without. These are the contents of what is in that bag without editing (well, photo editing not withstanding)

The contents of your bag can tell all sorts of things about you. Here's mine! What? You don't carry a tiny hammer in your purse too?

I have been hitting my student artists hard with the importance of reading beyond words on a page for the past week or so and while it's been incredibly taxing for me on any given day, it's been enormously rewarding for me to see their understandings and abilities "click" into place on the subject of non-verbal and written literacy.

Keep calm... and... what was the next thing?

It's Friday. And I needed some serious comic relief because sometime life is so complicated for me that I have to make myself laugh so I don't explode instead.

*sigh*

Nothing like a little graphic design geekery to give me the hearty chuckle I needed. The only thing that would have made me laugh more would have been if there had been a mention or an appearance of Comic sans.

...

...

Actually, that might have made me feel even closer to exploding. Nevermind. ;)

Teach with [the stories of] your life :: The ART of a good story

Year after year, there are a few project ideas that I keep around because of how much students enjoy them. For 2D Design, the two that rarely get scrapped are the printmaking one and the fingerprint one. This year I decided to do something unique with these two and instead of doing them separately, the students are going to do a hybrid of them. They are going to do macro fingerprint designs that will be carved into printing plates that they will use to make a set of limited edition prints.

Dream.Pray.Create. Giveaway :: And the winner is...

Jen 

of Draw The Line At (art ed blog) 

Congratulations, you have won the marker set!!! 

Thank you for leaving this comment that was 

randomly selected with the random.org randomized number picker. 

(See the screenshot below)

Please contact me directly (DreamPrayCreate::at::gmailDOTcom) and provide me with your direct contact information and shipping address so I can get the marker set to you ASAP!

Thank you, everyone, for participating and please come back and enter another of at least two giveaways that I will be doing in the coming months!

Since when did I start doing gymnastics (of all things)

My new purse is a design of Jump From Paper

Good morning! How are you?

I was up at my usual 5am this morning despite the fact that it's a Saturday morning and I have been busy trying to catch up with a myriad of things that have escaped me this week including returning to this blog!

Yesterday was the last day of the first week of school and it also happened to be the day when all of my art supplies finally arrived from Dick Blick. *seriously?* My student aide helped me to start unpacking the mountain of boxes and though I made some progress checking things in, I will be headed back into my classroom either today or tomorrow to finish it out and put things away so that I'm not starting next week with this week's work spread out all over the studio classroom.

If it's not obvious enough, I have been buried by more than just my shipment of art supply boxes. That said, I am working on making changes so that I don't have to abandon this blog.

Learning to listen and then let go

Some weeks back, I started oil painting again after taking an unintentional sabbatical for quite some time. I was able to complete two 36 x 36 pieces in one weekend. I felt pretty uplifted by them both.

And then something happened with the second one I did. The longer I looked at it, the more I become convinced that it wasn't as it was supposed to be. There was an unnatural darkness about it that made me feel uneasy and prompted me to try and make adjustments to help illuminate it. Everything I did only made it worse and spread more darkness over it. My husband tried his best to convince me that I should just let it be and friends of mine gave me plenty of affirmations that is was "pretty good." I wasn't convinced though I ended it quickly by rubbing it down with turpenoid and not even thinking twice about it. I knew that finishing it and then wiping it clean was absolutely essential to the creative process for what this painting would be.

The unPlugged version of Art-at-home

Without even realizing or trying to, I realized that I have recently been spending more of my time "unplugged" than ever before. I have put down and away my phone and other electronic devices more than ever and I have spent less time trolling the web. This has allowed for more time to paint, invest myself in creative processing (of all sorts), and spending time with my husband and almost 5 yo daughter. One of the highlights of all of this happened this past weekend when I got the notion to finally put together a fairy garden for my daughter...

This is why I paint and why I should be painting a lot more often

This weekend provided the first opportunities in months for me to really invest some time and paint in my home studio. Here are the fruits of my labor...

Both were done in Gamblin oils on stretched canvases that are 36x36 in size. Both are completely original works for me and this is a huge first for me. Both were also done - start to finish - within less than 48 hours of time. I have no titles for them yet but I am working on that. The inspiration for the subject matter should be obvious enough but largely it is informed by my Christian beliefs and experiences so far in my life.

Beantown on my mind

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Just heard the news of what happened in Boston and it is taking everything I have not to break down in tears in front of my almost five year old. I don't want to have to explain myself because I know I can't even to begin with. Why, oh Lord, does this keep happening?

I'm not from Boston but I do have some connections enough to it for me to feel something because of what happened. It's just devastating to think about the fact that this has happened to Boston and then for all of those marathoners? I have so much respect for marathoners and what they do and to think that so many of them might not ever be able to run again - either because they physically can't or because their hearts and the tragedy of this will not permit them to - I can't even begin to imagine how this has all devastated them.

[Updated: Here is some history behind the Boston Marathon that makes it so significant to begin with - another blogger wrote this and explained things very well]

I am praying for Boston and I am also praying for these senseless acts to cease and desist already.

Lord Jesus Christ... save us all from this mess that is being made. Please. Come quickly.

Bye-bye Google Reader!

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So... if you didn't know already... Google Reader is about to become a fondly spoken of and awfully missed thing of the internet past. (Have you noticed that the link to it has even disappeared from the navigational link lineup already?) I don't remember where I originally found out about this but there have been at least four other art ed blogs that have already brought it up and started the process of figuring out how to contend with the problem that a life without Google Reader present. Thankfully, some of their solutions to the issue are very workable and Google Reader being gone won't be so so terrible or awful when it happens officially come July.

As it is working out, two of the most popular alternatives are to start using Feedly or Bloglovin'. Both are free services (so far). And I will tell you (from my own experience) that I prefer Bloglovin' over Feedly if only for the visual presentation/organization of my blog subscriptions that number in the hundreds. Visually, Bloglovin' just seems a lot more similar to what I am used to in Google Reader. Another thing about Bloglovin' is that it allows you to "claim" your blog in their web-based system in order to better personalize your blogging reading experience and enable you to do some blog analytics within your Bloglovin' account. One last thing about it is the fact that you can migrate all of your blog subscriptions over when you start your account! So easy-peasy to make the jump from Google Reader, right?

I have already added a Bloglovin' button to my right sidebar ------------------------------------------------>
for your convenience and so long as you have a Bloglovin' account? You can simply hit that button much like staying connected through Google Friend connect (which I believe is also going away) or manually adding the url of this site to your Google Reader. And if you don't want to join Bloglovin' (or Feedly for that matter) because you don't want another account/log-in to have to manage, I understand and you can also just follow this blog via it being delivered directly to your email by entering your information at the top of the right sidebar where it says 'Follow by Email.'

Hope you all are doing well! We just got one of our biggest snows (which honestly isn't saying much) this year) despite the fact that it's supposed to be SPRING now.  Perhaps I will end up with a little more of a Spring Break if the weather keeps up like this.

Social Media for GOOD :: That time Gamblin sent me FREE paint!!!

Last month, in the midst of all of the craziness that was the production of the musical, my birthday happened!! And despite the fact that my birthday has been known to bring about things that are not worth celebrating - like one year my grandmother died and my other grandmother was diagnosed with cancer - I usually let it go by unnoticed if I can help it.

Times they are a-changin' though and this year? Well this year's birthday was STELLAR compared to what every other birthday before has proved to NOT be. Why? Because I came home to a package from none other than Gamblin Oil Colors that included F-R-E-E tubes of paint from them!!!!!!

Did you get that? I said FREE tubes of GAMBLIN brand Oil Paint!!!!!!! The stuff is NOT cheap even if you get a deal on it through Utrecht. And they sent me (3) tubes of it along with a ton of literature about pigments and color palettes and all sorts of other useful stuff as well. My artist heart could not have been so blessed if anything else would have showed up in my mailbox and what a thing to come home to on my birthday!!!

My three tubes of paint! Alizarin Permanent, Torrit Grey, and Cote d'Azure (limited edition)

A terrific selection of reference materials for me that will be so helpful in my painting endeavors.

So, are you wondering how I went about getting such a lovely package delivered? Let me just tell you!

Now, I am NOT being compensated to review or hype up this brand in any way shape of form. I am a loyal user of Gamblin brand simply because they so awesome that I can't not use them. My painting professor from last year got me started on using the brand and I have used some store brands before but there is just nothing that compares to Gamblin and I stick with it for that reason. And because I am a real "talker" about things I love, I am all about shouting it via every conduit I might have access to about how much I love Gamblin brand. I regularly post pictures on Instagram of paintings I might be working on and I almost always tag them with either hashtags or the Gamblin username in order to let them know that I am using AND loving their oil colors.


About a month after I took my vocal love about Gamblin brand to the social media avenues, I was contacted directly by one of their marketing folks who asked me if I might be interested in trying out a new version of Alizarin that they were now producing. *WHAAAAAAAAA?!!!! YES!!!!!!!* I, of course, graciously accepted the offer and then I just waited and waited. A little more than a month passed and I started thinking that maybe they had changed their mind because they started to dislike some of the work that I was still posting on Instagram. I sort of lost of painting "mojo" and some more time passed and then my birthday showed up and with it came the long awaited package from Gamblin!!!! I was BLOWN AWAY. And I (of course) took it back to Instagram and thanked them very publicly for supporting me and my art with the free "swag."

From my own doings and understandings of Gamblin's activity on Instagram, there were a handful of other people who they sent paint to as well so I wasn't the only artist who they hooked up so nicely. I don't really care about that though and I just feel like it was such a blessing not only because it was free paint and REALLY amazing paint at that but also because I feel like them recognizing me by sending me some of their products to use really legitimizes me that much more as a visual artist and I (honestly) doubt myself and the talent I do or don't have on any given day. Seriously. I won't say that I am super terrible at painting but I know I have a lot to learn and there are a ton of artists/painters who are "better" than me and I am not every kidding myself about any of it.

Still, I wanted to be considered and respected as an artist who is serious about creating and being a working artist. I mean, I don't aim to be in a gallery necessarily but I also don't want to be one of those folks who people look at and just kind of gets lumped together with anyone else who might also be holding a paintbrush and painting for the fun of it. Painting and creating and artwork means so much more to me than just it being for the fun of it, y'know?

So, yeah. I am here to tell you that Gamblin Oil Colors seriously sent me FREE tubes of paints and I know it happened by and large because I was willing to talk about how much of a fan I am of theirs on Instagram. See how awesome social media is? It's not so bad really.

I'm pretty sure this has what has made me so "off" these days.

I can't concentrate these days and lately I hardly even want to come to work. This isn't because I hate my job or anything but more because it has recently been discovered that my daughter - my four and a half year old daughter - has been the victim of bullying at her preschool.

*sigh*

It seems hard to believe, y'know? The fact that bullying is happening at a Pre-K level and to a child who isn't even five years old yet - it just seems like it couldn't possibly be real. As it happens though, it's very real and it has been very damaging to my little girl and all I can think about lately is what I can do to stop it as soon as possible. The preschool where she goes is pretty small and the staff has done their best to work with us but as it happens, it seems the problem children - there are just a few cannot seem to be dealt with appropriately in order for the bullying behavior to stop.

We have been doing our best to monitor the state of things day-to-day with my daughter but yesterday it got to the point that I feel like was the tipping point for me. My husband had picked up my daughter and when they got home he said to me that he had a very disturbing conversation with her where she reported that one of the kids in her class had told her that he was going to flush her down the toilet. She seemed only mildly concerned with it because she is pretty naive and unassuming naturally and very much takes things literally so if something doesn't make sense to her she sometimes can blow it off but that doesn't change the fact that to me and my husband - both of us being teachers with quite a bit of experience at this point - this along with all of the other things she has experienced seems to be continuing escalated behavior for concern on our end. I guess at least my daughter isn't trying to tell me that she is ugly or stupid anymore or having nightmares where she is a "ghost" and all of the other kids are "going away from [her]."

So... if I have seemed less than focused on this blog, it's because this is a major thing that is occupying me. Bear with me and trust that I am praying about this and I know that the Lord is going to deliver providence in this situation but it will happen in His time and so far I am doing my best to figure out what the answers are that He wants me to know.

I will be around but it might end up being sporadic so just wanted to let you all know. Thanks so much.

This is what two weeks of painting looks like

Two weeks ago the canvas looked like this...

Underpainting

And then it went to this...

 

And I have revisited it so it currently it looks like this...

 

I am guessing that I have at least another week but more than likely two more weeks ahead of me to actual finish this painting. It's been a tremendous amount of work and very challenging but I have learned just as much too and I am in no major rush to complete this. I just want to be able to paint this well and CORRECTLY. I want the colors to be right, the marks to have integrity, the lines to have obvious speed, and I am not willing to skimp on anything that will diminish how it speaks to glorify creation and the creative process.

There is so much JOY in this journey

It has been almost three months since I entered full-throttle into this new chapter of my life that requires me to devote myself more whole-heartedly to more personal art and creative endeavors. (Right now it's just fine art oil painting but it will also include sculpting and creating artisan jewelry). Though it's been incredibly challenging, I can't say I am doing anything less than feeling like I am living a dream of some kind.

I have always ALWAYS wanted to be a painter and more than any other kind of artist in the world. And I have always ALWAYS felt like I couldn't be that because what I was painting was merely rendering things and wasn't ever truly creating anything worth the paint and time I was using up in order to paint in the fist place. And while it's debatable that I am any good at all, well... I am not very hung up on that. This is because for the first time in my life I feel much more like a legitimate painter (and in turn serious visual artist) than I ever have before. I feel like I actually have a specific direction for the artwork that I am seeking to create and I am not just making the same thing over and over again or swiping other peoples' work by simply remaking what they very uniquely created to begin with leaving me with only a poor imitation of their truly phenomenal work.

I mean... like I said before - I am not trying to say that I am some acclaimed artist or anything worth my salts (or rather my paints) but I finally don't feel so hung up on the whole business of whether I am good or not. And even if someone thinks I am not good? Eh... I am not hung up on that either because I feel like by painting and sharing it, I am doing what I have been called to do which is really what is validating me more than any priceless masterpiece I might ever create or not.

The beginnings (in sequential order) of a piece I am currently working on.

 I have been painting since early 2000s but I always knew I was never quite that good while I was doing it. People would see what I did and they would appreciate it but I always knew that they agreed with me that what I was doing wasn't all that noteworthy. Looking back I can evaluate what I was doing and say outright that my work lacked confidence and direction and also what I was painting? It was obviously indicative of the fact that I was trying to paint for the sake of painting and I wasn't saying much with what I was painting but I also didn't know what to say. I was just sort of painting for the purpose of hoping that I would turn out something decent and worthy of praise at some point but I had no idea how I could be a little more intentional.

None of the aforementioned applied anymore though. Why? Because I have made a more concerted effort to do something more than be simply self-taught and an enthusiast of the art of (and from) the act of painting. Now, don't take this like me bashing self-taught artists. That's not what this is at all. I mean, for as much as I struggled during my self-taught years but still continued to paint despite it, well... being self-taught (and thus a little bit unknowing about the importance of being something more than simply self-taught) helped me to explore a territory and offered me plenty of mistakes to experience so I would be able to understand the importance of more formal training - that which I now have at this point in my life!

Some more sequential images via my instagram feed. It's a work in progress but I feel like it's working out enough to show progress better than most any kind of artwork I have ever done before!!!

Definitely, I learned plenty during my time of being self-taught painter but I have to say that what I learned in that time can be summed up mostly by saying this: I definitely didn't know very much or at least what I knew didn't help me to do and (visually) say what I really wanted to. I mean, I still have plenty to learn about and to prove that I know a thing or two about (as evidenced by the most recent image of the state of my painting as seen below) but I can't help but feel like I have already come so far even though I know I still have many miles to go.

Added lighter values and warm colors back in after darkening almost the entire canvas in an effort to correct value issues.

I might never sell a painting in my life and I might never make it into a gallery of any kind. But you know what? That's not my point in being a painter and a visual artist anyway. I am doing what I am doing because I feel truly called to do it and with every mark of my brush, with every canvas that I "dirty" with paint, I feel like I am answering that calling and that gives me greater joy than anything I might ever have for all of the rest of my years on earth.